Pearl was Presented Before my Eyes

30 August 2017 (Wed)

I have not been doing this, as in writing a blog for ages I suppose.
I have decided to pen down the details of my life, "again". hahaha.

went to Prayer meeting at Church of Praise (Ipoh), it was around 11pm.
I started to pray in tongues & praising when I put my short focus on God, with eyes closed.

I saw the picture of a Pearl (a vision you may name it).
And immediately I say, "I receive by faith"


I saw a big large Pearl in front of me, a short distance away from me floating in the air.

I give thanks to God for this beautiful pearl (not really knowing the true meaning behind). I was thinking that God maybe wants to tell me that I am precious to him.

and the next day on 31st August 2017, it is merdeka Day. I am back to office for work.

(yea I know everyone's natural response would be, oh no! hahha. and I tried to discuss with boss to close office but when boss says 'open shop' means 'no close shop' lol. )

Well God can speak to us everywhere whenever we are available to hear and listen. ;) it was just a short whisper: "I have kept you for myself, because I love you". I was like being blown away.

1) Giving Thanks.
the next response from me, I say: "God thank you for loving me. thank you for telling me that you love me. and that you love me so much that you want to keep me all by yourself (and could that be a reason that I remain single all these while) I smile thinking that it could be a nice joke. then soon within seconds I broke into tears. I was being convicted by the Holy Spirit, that God loves me so much. using my time in single hood to serve him, honour him & having "Him" as my attention & devotion.
(P/s:small confession that some of my time I use for watching Chinese drama at home, and other distractions)

2) Search with resources at hand.
I google search meaning of Pearl. and here is some finding:

#1) Definition:
Matthew is using a variety of similes for the kingdom of heaven…a pearl is a perfect simile because a fine pearl is a valuable treasure that needs no polishing or cutting by man. It comes to us complete and lustrous created by God through nature, as is the kingdom of heaven, which only God could create and perfect.

~ I was tearing while reading this, being reminded I am God's precious Pearl. God perfected me through the work of Christ on the cross.


#2) Reading references:
**I was being 'wowh' in the highlighted in Yellow**

http://www.cgg.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Library.sr/CT/BS/k/1153/Parable-of-Pearl.htm

The Parables of Matthew 13 (Part Seven):
The Parable of the Pearl

by Martin G. Collins
Forerunner, "Bible Study," May 2006

The first four parables of Matthew 13 are darkened by an ominous cloud. In contrast, the last four cast light on the assurance of a positive future for the saints. In this second of the chapter's third pair of parables, Jesus reveals more secrets to His disciples regarding the high value God places on the church. The Parable of the Pearl (verse 45) particularly reveals the high cost to God of acquiring potential members of His Kingdom.

Until we are baptized members of God's church with the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, we cannot understand the full meaning and purpose of God's plan. As Asaph writes, "When I thought how to understand this, it was too painful for me—until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I understood their end" (Psalm 73:16-17). This parable helps us understand God's perspective.

Between the Parable of the Hidden Treasure and the Parable of the Pearl, we can notice this distinction: The Treasure is made up of units of precious things, such as coins and gems of various kinds, although they are collectively one treasure. The Pearl, however, is a single object. These two illustrations—both of which conclude at the same place, the completion of the purchase—represent different aspects of the same truths: the costliness of the Treasure or Pearl, and the joy of the Purchaser.

1. Whom does the merchant represent? Matthew 13:45-46.

Comment: The merchant is seriously and deliberately searching the world to secure the best and costliest gems. It is his livelihood, and he is diligent to travel extensively because he knows his efforts will be rewarded when he finds the best and purchases them. Since Christ is the One who seeks the sinner (Luke 19:9-10; John 6:44), the merchant cannot represent the members of God's church (Romans 3:11). The Shepherd seeks the sheep, not vice versa.

The use of the word "seeking" (Matthew 13:45) helps identify the merchant as Christ, as it means "to depart from one place and arrive at another." Jesus did this Himself to pay the price for the pearl. He departed from heaven and arrived on earth to complete His mission (Philippians 2:6-7; II Corinthians 8:9). He gave up everything—He sold all—to possess us!

2. What is the significance of the pearl? Same verses.

Comment: Unlike other gems, pearls are produced by a living organism, an oyster, as the result of an injury. It usually begins forming around a grain of sand or an egg of some parasite that invaded the oyster. The oyster protects itself by layering the irritant with nacre (mother-of-pearl) until, out of pain and suffering, it forms an object of great beauty. The offending party actually becomes a gem of great worth.

In a similar way, spiritually, we are an irritant, a parasite due to our nature and sins (Romans 3:23-26). However, because God loves us, we are covered by the blood of Jesus Christ, and gradually, we can become a thing of beauty, clothed with the righteousness of Him who bought us (Romans 3:24-26; Ephesians 2:13). As long as the pearl—the church—remains in the oyster—the world—it has no value. In fact, the pearl has no real intrinsic worth; its value resides in the immense cost paid for it.

3. How does grace apply in this parable?

Comment: The doctrine of God's grace is essential in understanding this parable (II Corinthians 9:15; Romans 6:23). The merchant is willing to buy the pearl at an exorbitant cost. No one can buy salvation or the Kingdom of God or eternal life for himself. Grace would not be grace if one were able to barter with God (Luke 7:41-42). According to Scripture, we have no righteousness, no talents, no goods, nothing that is of any value in purchasing such a priceless gift from God (Isaiah 64:6). Peter's denunciation of Simon Magus clearly shows that no one can buy what belongs to God (Acts 8:17-24).

Further, we do not choose Christ but He selects us (John 15:16; Luke 19:10). Since He is the merchant, the price paid was His life, and the church is the pearl. The church is one body (Ephesians 4:4), composed of those He has sought out through the ages to be a habitation of Christ by His Spirit and who will be His bride at His return.

The Pearl presents a wonderful picture of the purchase of the church in preparation for the Kingdom of God. It is encouraging to know that Jesus does not seek us in reluctant fulfillment of duty. Nor is He groping in the dark, hoping that we will respond to His plea, but He seeks us out with an efficient, organized, pre-planned goal in mind. He pursues us as a man courts a woman to be his bride, willing to spill His own blood as her purchase price (Acts 20:28). What greater price could have been paid for the church than the life of Jesus Christ, the perfect sacrifice?

© 2006 Church of the Great God
PO Box 471846
Charlotte, NC  28247-1846
(803) 802-7075

Overall, I enjoyed the small little things that God wants to reveal to me. :)

Failures to be left behind, & not to look back ?

Come to a season, when one starts wondering...? "why isn't moving; or even stepping out..... "
"Why isn't one venturing into something, which drives the passion?" ; still the answer remains, in silent which sinks into the ocean, fall onto the bottomless seabed...
in the midst of your friends, just laughingly allowing the conversation passes by....

Somehow, you will be tempted to search & root out the cause that has brought one to this current situation.....?

Just to realize, a small whisper from the heart :"fear..."; and you reply to yourself, "hahah (acting as if un-believable state).. (starting to be serious)ermm, what fear?what's the cause...?"
Answer: "it's your pass failures" ....reply: "is it so? I'm sorry I truly couldn't get over.... " The tear drop falls like little pearls onto the ground.

This rewinds back to the situation: I've been good in something (copy writing & ideas),while, being criticized with things which I'm bad at (e.g. management, & details...) ; so easily it defeats the spark of confidence within, just like blowing off little fire which burning weakly on  standing candle in this treasure heart.. "pufff" -  the fire gone.

Resulting the current status quo. Whenever you want to move forward, the past pulls you back valiantly to the ground, gradually the thought of failures surfaces on to your mind...."you can't do it".

My Biggest Challenge: God has to break this vicious cycle in my mind. the thoughts which always overwhelm,by the state of failure. I release those past failures, into the hands of God; & believing, the Almighty is bringing me into something New victoriously.

ending with a song of encouragement, by Casting Crowns

".... 再把我心溶化，就好似用来溶解金块。"

渐渐，神。。。一天比一天，

你深深的引我到那应许之地。

而我？ 就被你的慈爱，

像磁铁一般。。。。紧紧地吸着。

我难以抗拒这股力量，涌上心头；

再把我心溶化，就好似用来溶解金块。

活在您的恩典里，享受这福分；

回头一望，这微妙的我，

活在你的恩宠下，就快被你宠坏不仅。

沿着这路程，就是您赐的盼望， 只能列诵您爱的意言。。。

耶稣, 您让我心感激不尽!

"就由脸上挂着微笑......微昧地点头 - 结局方案"

这种感触一言难尽，无法理解；默默
在乎的人没那两个，即使在乎也异设法同感
不明不了! 怎能让人理解？当已对且感受并模糊不清。。。

相望， 也只不过表达心声，牵累着无法描述心内的深处。
心底的挣扎？事务的理解及否定？就只有流落到心房一个角落!

爱得散发不断在呼唤，多么想自由发挥；可是只能克制本感受； 以免双方都受伤？
为何会受伤呢？因为，两者都了解:
心念，理念，恋爱频率；没办法搭配。
挥挥手， 就把这些来龙去脉的情感来个告别?
我不否认对你的感觉: 也至少? 我能凭良心，打打胸口, 发出真心

就由一个脸上挂着微笑，接着一个微昧地点头； 作个结局方案。

(*这里指的爱，是一种彼此吸引；或暧昧)
*自由发挥: 表示交流，交谈方面

"过去"，是人生的一部分， 而不是生命的所有

过去，是人生的一部分， 而不是生命的所有
接受事实，而不让他困扰您。
经验是从那儿取来。

“舍不得” 乃是个借口
“克服”是实际上的理由
未尝过，人生多么无喂
尝过使人生便得更精彩，
因如此，越懂得珍惜失去的如今拥有
更珍惜欢乐，胜过悲伤
更赏识平伏的心情，
爱过，胜于溜走

没有一刻的人生显得浪费，
这，看待个人观念，角度，与想法，
以去度过来来回回的过程。
无限放开是给自己一个机会初始地门道
手掌往天是接受新开段
心情放纵的享受未来，无限地照亮着



(partly inspired by song above)

my inspiration becomes your life

inspiration is something never fails
it takes a thought to lead to another,
and so,one inspiration thought leads to another,
and a person of inspiration will bore another too...
in condition, with people of the like-minded mind and of same frequency of thoughts.

"inspire, to be inspired"
may it be a life motto of every individual.
living a life of inspiration, is one will never find its regrets in..
to measure the fruitfulness of one's inspiration is when it leads to a contribution to many.

life can be a source for lots of reasons, even a mortal mind couldn't comprehend.
to inspire may just bring a spark,
and so, when it just left, it has left for good...
leaving you,but a mind of blank state...

(inspiration has just been stolen, for somewhat....not understood reasons, & can't explain....
and so,the writing has come to a halt)

情感

情感到底是什么？
他是如何产生呢？

其实，他犹如一阵一阵的风，就吹到您脸狭上
你不会猜测他的来临。。。。。很自然的。

当你在炎热底下状况，风给您舒爽的感觉
当您觉得凉爽时，才会联想到，
风刚刚从您脸狭吹过和在您耳边经过。

可是，那时候的风已成为过去了。
您不会懂他何时来，何时会成为过去
您能办到的是，将那珍贵的时刻好好，牢牢输入在脑海中。
要记住， 风能从四方八面吹。。
当吹到您身上可算巧合，也得可算一种幸福， 或荣幸吧。

情感到底是什么？
他是人一种自然反应，可以在理科解答， 也只不过逻辑上的一些看法。。
绝对不在事物上太难理解的一个体裁。

轻轻的吹过，轻轻的吹走。。
就如一对俗语说：“轻轻的来，就如我轻轻的走，不带走一片云彩”

在蛮小的比率之下，这阵风会从复，带给你原始类似的感觉。。。
可能他的神秘度给人类带来一种欢喜，也无奈吧。。

主要是， 我们该知情感的过去，绝对不会再回来。。。
失去了，您怎么抓也缓不会； 就能等下一回再吹来的风吧
现实，都是人类不愿意去接受，可是就是那么的真实

灵感也是一样的说法
抓到得是您的荣幸，错失了得是福分还未到
这还不至于让一个人患得患失

情感，灵感，感触，都是神赐给人类毫无价值的一份礼物。。。。
就让我们好好珍惜，好好利用，好好享受。

思念何处错呢？

当世界在翻转， 我本人会在何处？
也许，该当 你不会想象。
在变，在改，在转。。。。。
恐怕一天。。。。。
我把自己也认不了，何况是你呢？

在想，如果遇到我的那一刹刻。。
你会往前，向我打个招呼吗?

B: 深情的眼神看着，
“喔，对不起，请饶恕我。。你的脸型有点像我失去多年的朋友” (就深情的瞪着)
A: 该不会认得我嘛。。(心里在想)
难道思念会另一个人昏昏沉沉吗？
情况可能犹如，[幻想中。。。。。]

心想：
就唯有靠那熟悉的声音。。。。。去辨认她。。。
确定使她呀!可是她样貌。。。。？就比如天与地；不是我想当年认识的丫头! 犹如天仙下凡。。。[一顾倾人王，在顾倾人国] 这怎能可能的事？在做梦!!醒醒吧。 可是眼前的她，就珍珠那么真。。。。叫我该人怎样去面对？
(向前说： 我想你？； 你好吗？； 不该，不该!!)

*以上情况就是制作出来，若有类似，都是巧合而已*

思念是个错吗？日思夜想的话，可能要反省。。。。。
此外，都是正常，不是吗？对，可能我也认同。

当。。。。。
一天你遇见我，你是否会认得我是你当年一齐玩伴同伴侣？
该你我都长大成人，无法辨认出对方 而结合了。。。。
这是心里的一种遗憾， 对于一个重情重友的人来说

(鉴于：失去多年在海外的童年友)

countless days without you..if one never realize!

What is captured,it’s the only thing remembered..
The wind is the witness where you & I met..

What could you have done to set apart,
Or you would even want to share with me…
I may not have to ask every single little thing,
But it’s just the way you put it that makes it all different

Please to never refresh this moment again,
Where it only reminds nothing but a dark plain cloth.
The room where we expect joy has it all but you
So I know it’s just virtual stupid.

It takes a mountain to prove it,
It takes time to make it happen,
It takes me to work it out.

My days go countless without you,
if one never realize, at least I did.

~define the word "you" in your own world...
it could be your study, accademic, career, or a person(s)...

way of expression,

Its nothing real great to see things the way it shouldn’t be..
It’s another twirl of the mind, that might need to do its fixing there..
Cool is the word to be count?yea nice...?
Or is it a norm, a culture used to express?

Lots of things…have become a culture,
Or a way of expression.
When people use it too often, the thing lose itself the real meaning behind.
Wouldn’t doubt if someone argues, “that’s not true”
Or maybe can you tell me, “how true can it be?”
To be accepted as, “not so true.”

Owh, you wish to ask, does it matter anymore..?
Hahaha..after all, life is just touch & go,
People walking pass one another…?
Will you really matter to drop a smile along the road,
Or a nod of head…
Or you just don’t care…

A buzy life might kill.
But a buzy life without a purpose driven in itself, calls heartache to the soul,
taking it to the grave...
And one asks again, “that’s not true”
Or maybe can you tell me, “how true can it be?”
To be accepted as, “not so true.”

It matters to me anyway, to just drop a “hi” or a “hello”…
In a culture which seems so cold.
Who bothered? when you say, “does it matter?”

~Dedicate to one whose life is not so misery, yet mystery, & mushy

14 March 12:24am

in you

In you,
Things could have change
My thoughts all been, but a vain..
Find out if you could, but just a coconut shell in the end.

Oh!how is it?that I never find in life…
Or could I have gotten pass it,
Or could I have taken granted?

So find it all in meaningless and yet,
Idleness…
Or you should be more prudent,in times to come..
Improving yourself is not just a snap of fingers,
It takes a period of time to form the habit which is good.

Okay, time of confession might be there..
Time of emo may exist..
But that does not make you less than a human being,
If you were to look it another way..

These verses are maybe too..tough to digest,
It’s just another flip over of the mind,
That needs to find its way out..

~dedicate to people who have a disorganize syndrome of mind (like the author)

13 March 2010 11:54pm

I have gotten it, it’s just that....

I have gotten it..
It’s just that, I let it go..
It could have been mine,
But it’s just that I knew it wasn’t…

Why time never leave us left behind something.
If you just need to find out or check back,
If you have treasured it from the first place.

so,
I have gotten it…
It’s just that, I let it go…

What could be the greatest value or opportunity you pass by?
When there’ nothing to be left un-regret,
There’s nothing to look back.

I have gotten it…
It’s just that, I let it go…

And if it’s just a basket full of fishes,
And why not some other nice food..?
Should you ask for something more when you’re merely the receiver &?
With only empty hands…

So that’s life not so great statement,
It’s just a thought passing by the journey.

Whenever you go, never look back with regrets;
It will be too much to think, with never ending pictures.
Guess maybe greater advents are awaiting there,
So just grab it!

I have gotten it..
It’s just that, I let it go..
It could have been mine,
But it’s just that I knew it wasn’t…

~dedicate to people who miss out the things in life!
13 March 2010 11.30pm

common life & yet uncommon~

There’s only one thing to hold on if it’s the only left.
One thing to ponder if there’s nothing else to think of,
One thing to live on if you have only one life.

It could be the only breath you ask for,
And anything but a single moment to be with Him.
The source of giver, life of all creation,
The greatness you could ever imagine.

Like our days, we live & die,
We laugh & cry,
We’re broken & healed..
Yet some people think…
Life is too much to go on…

Things come & go,
Time ushers in & out,
Fashion gets outdated with the updated ones,
Leaves turn to yellow from green…
Yet, is time able to turn back..?

Very often the answer we know is “no”,
We still ‘wishes” , wasting the time of thinking back, “what if..”

(A gift to you, from random flow of the heart)

Tiredness~Look ahead, going forward; & never look backward.

Tiredness~

Sometimes life tiredness can’t be avoided even if you try..
Trying harder means never ending.

Get real is what we need.
When life doesn’t go the way we thought,
Should that be a good news or the other way round?
Well, let’s get things unreal here for a bit.
If life just go on too smooth,okay make that a dream.

What are the things in life could we make escape this “tiredness”?
Sometimes, it’s just a small boost that I need or else, diversion?

You need friends to go along when things go low.
People in the same frame of mind to talk to?
A time to think things through or self-reflection?

For as much creative solutions that you can think of,
It’s a miracle that I could always get through the worst diversity.
In which I always call it “grace”.

How much tears needed?
Or even the bottles of them laid on the rack?
Who’s the one seen it all & knew it all?
Or izit the closest friend of life, but God.

The deepest thought held, for fear of how people may see you.
Oh,let’s get real
Unless the world is uncommon.

Or If I should bury, all mentioned are under this love at whichever cost.
Yes, we life in the world under scrutiny, especially for people of fame.
But, all is enough if we just have God,
having myself in His mind all times, my life in His hand, and the apple of His eyes.
What’s more but to call it a blessing.

The weariness that keeps us thinking…
How good to just have a shoulder to lean on for some rests…
A chest to hide the fears in the faces to be reassured again.

Before that, & till then,
Life’s just got to move on.
Look ahead, going forward; & never look backward.

Looking into the eyes

I wonder what does it feel like, looking into the eyes?
What did you see?
An everlasting hope?

Could you feel the sense of warmness
flowing from within the heart that comes out through the eyes?
Do you feel the intensity of passion in her eyes?
Could you sense her heart beat pulsing as fast as to yours?

What does it feel to grab her hand?
Could you feel the circuit that is running through your hands to your heart?
The gentleness comes like the big rain pour to your soul.

Looking into her eyes,
admiring the beauty that goes deep beyond her outer beauty.
The first gaze is so killing that you hope the second one could be forever.

So unconsciously, you’re captured by ‘something’ in her that’s so fascinating.
It couldn’t be explained by mere human thoughts.
Nevertheless, you just feel the satisfaction filling the corner gaps of your heart
through that eyes.

The pure, illuminating & sincere eyes have just locked you in the path of romance,
with a certain feeling of assurance promised within that pupils.

I ask myself, how could I walk pass this beautiful being?
As time rushes in life that I have overlook her.
In my moment of quietness, the thought of her comes to me.
The short clips of her eyes just come in small snaps to my mind.

I decided that I want to look deeply into her eyes next time around,
To see if this is only mere illusions in myself.
Sure with all convictions in my heart,that it lights up the candle in the soul.
Never will you regret looking into her eyes!

[27/6/09 15:11]

Historical name of blog

Life’s a music
Every thought, word & deed comes with a melody…
how the music goes is highly dependable on the musician itself.

Music has different genres.
It can be classical, pops, R&B, blues, folks, rock & roll, jazz…
You name it anyhow with different beats & tempo.
Sometimes it’s fast, slow or medium.

Every part of my life plays a rhythm,
& Every note has a reason to be there.
Everyone that I come across even if it’s just for a second,
you constitute a part of it.

This is the melody which subtly tells a story,
reflecting the inner voice &
conveying the feelings of a person with mere simplicity.

It’s not a perfect piece of music,
but I cherish every part of it.
every sound that it produces,
signifies the rhythms in my heart.
This is where the name of this blog comes about.

With hope,
you would enjoy reading every piece of it,
the life of a dusk-made author,
creator or inventor behind this music piece.
I treasure every comment.
Please drop your invaluable sights of view
& Share with me at your most willing.

to proceed...
this goes with the story of a down-to-earth girl,
in the process of turning into a young fine lady..
while life's a process, the music goes on.

the day when it ends,
this music lives among the people,
alive in their memory,
inspiring much becomes
the ultimate desire!

Life's puzzle

Life is just passing by
It rushes too soon
Do you wish that it’s just but a moment.
Imagining…Too soon &
I call it a day

What's the purpose in life that all are heading..?
Love, crush, friends…
Or money, & all the luxury in life
When will these come by, I wonder…

How much more do we want to crawl again everytime we fall..?
All the bruises & pains that we all go through…
The people that hurt you especially the close ones…
Satisfied in just staying there…?
When all just but flashes of life of a momentary…

It’s yours to know, when all things in your hand just fly away…
The things you think you own, just slip off…
You marveled for a while…
In perplex with what happened..
Could you ever get back what’ve lost..?
It’s always been a question & a puzzle left unsolved.
If only you have the answer, you sell billions of dollars

Fame, success, money…
Is not all these we’re after.?.
Asking deep within my heart….
It’s something I can’t deny..
But what’s more important, when it strikes me…
God in life or the things above…
All but leaving me in shame..

Nothing I want, but more of you Jesus!

standing from afar

What could I do?
but to stand from afar,
watching from a distance....
do I wish for more?

by just watching...
it has already satisfied the inner most desire....
the best thing is that, you never realized....
with hope in eternity that you would never know...

I enjoy watching and observing your spontaneous reaction..
without you acknowledging the surroundings...
including noticing me...

the greatest gift and mystery is that,
I want to stay out from the limelight in your eyes...

this is the beauty of the crush...
not knowing someone is admiring you..
keeping the mystery....
it's not it?

however, the stupidity is...
you're trying to hide your feelings away from him.
none of us want to confront this kind feelings..
maybe it's the basic rule in our culture...

he passes by you....
you try your best not to look at him as the shadow goes behind you...
till he's a mile away....
you started to search for a glimpse of him...
& he has gone...

you know it clearly that crush is merely
a feeling of liking and admiring one
it's usually temporarily..
it's so common to everyone...that it reflects
the hormone fluctuations and chemistry in a human being...
and nothing unusual...

when you turn back,
the usual response is...
"oh, it's just another crush"....
no volcano eruptions..
no big deal anyway, in a cheekily smile...

well, this is the mystery and the beauty of a crush...
whether you choose to deny or not...
one will never, even given the guts....
to confront that, "I have a crush on you"

it's not a norm in our society..be it for a lady or a guy...
this feeling will only be buried deep in the grave of your hearts...
for whatever reasons it could be,
one may not know or have yet to discover...

as far to my certainty...
crush is part and parcels in life
it makes you feel normal as your heart is made of flesh,
no robotics...

still, I yet to say...
standing from afar

"people might not think it's the best, at least it's the best you've given"

come what may..
making everything impossible
and yet possible...

thrashing everything
blurting it out from the big brain..

time to focus
never get distracted working on something
success never comes from half-done work..
while the progress is not easy and the results is not often promised

do what you think best and
give your best...
so that regret will not come your way..

set your goals high
fill your mind with dreams and ambitions
your eyes with burning fire of passion
and your heart with discipline & determination
to bring success to reality..

things are never to be said when it's not meant to be done..
unless I do the job well or I don't take it...
that's the policy...
things go through my hand is my best and I make sure..

"people might not think it's the best, at least it's the best you've given"

Note:
never take up something when you can't do...
however, confidence in doing something comes from God..
sometimes even when it seems impossible to me, it's always possible to the one within me..

God's faithfulness is more than I could imagine,
giving me the strength, endurance, grace...
to accomplish things with excellency.
to God be the glory.

turning back is not a choice

I've come too far to say no..

I've never made a first step if I'm not ready to face it...

I knew the consequence, I know what it is the road down there



sometimes I feel that is dark...

it's too scary..

I'm afraid that I will get lost

& I will start to loss my direction

& even losing my own identity..

not knowing who I am..



Just off recent..

God just spoken to me..

He sent people to pray with me and for me..

when i expected least...in my deepest distress...



The road is not easy

it's not going to be easy either..

He's going to help me to stand strong

stand firm in His word

in God's principle

to not compromise in my Christian life

by any ways and means


OH, tears just flow...

how can it be that....God,

is so good that He will lead me through all these?

I'm afraid I will fail

and cause a drop of tear in His eyes & make Him grief

well, God just strenghten me...


I made my stand clear that I will not compromise

Coming back to this road that I've taken

the road to the world of media.

it was once dark, vague & scarry to me...

now that

the prayer made..


I want to be a light that shine down the road..

praying that the light will not be dim & fade away..

by God's grace that I will be burning stronger & brighter light..

I didn't take a road or journey when I'm not ready..

ready in the sense of 'sacrifices'

that's a whole new topic going to be..


turning back is not an option,

ever since the first step is taken..

challenges along the journey might be anticipated,

the intensity is not for me to gauge


I have not come so far to walk away

No turning back.....


Note:
OH,how you wish the rocky road is smooth..
bearing in mind..the smooth silky road
is not going to help build a strong and tough character,
which shapes my mind & discipline my life

meanwhile,
the journey goes on still...