standing from afar

What could I do?
but to stand from afar,
watching from a distance....
do I wish for more?

by just watching...
it has already satisfied the inner most desire....
the best thing is that, you never realized....
with hope in eternity that you would never know...

I enjoy watching and observing your spontaneous reaction..
without you acknowledging the surroundings...
including noticing me...

the greatest gift and mystery is that,
I want to stay out from the limelight in your eyes...

this is the beauty of the crush...
not knowing someone is admiring you..
keeping the mystery....
it's not it?

however, the stupidity is...
you're trying to hide your feelings away from him.
none of us want to confront this kind feelings..
maybe it's the basic rule in our culture...

he passes by you....
you try your best not to look at him as the shadow goes behind you...
till he's a mile away....
you started to search for a glimpse of him...
& he has gone...

you know it clearly that crush is merely
a feeling of liking and admiring one
it's usually temporarily..
it's so common to everyone...that it reflects
the hormone fluctuations and chemistry in a human being...
and nothing unusual...

when you turn back,
the usual response is...
"oh, it's just another crush"....
no volcano eruptions..
no big deal anyway, in a cheekily smile...

well, this is the mystery and the beauty of a crush...
whether you choose to deny or not...
one will never, even given the guts....
to confront that, "I have a crush on you"

it's not a norm in our society..be it for a lady or a guy...
this feeling will only be buried deep in the grave of your hearts...
for whatever reasons it could be,
one may not know or have yet to discover...

as far to my certainty...
crush is part and parcels in life
it makes you feel normal as your heart is made of flesh,
no robotics...

still, I yet to say...
standing from afar

"people might not think it's the best, at least it's the best you've given"

come what may..
making everything impossible
and yet possible...

thrashing everything
blurting it out from the big brain..

time to focus
never get distracted working on something
success never comes from half-done work..
while the progress is not easy and the results is not often promised

do what you think best and
give your best...
so that regret will not come your way..

set your goals high
fill your mind with dreams and ambitions
your eyes with burning fire of passion
and your heart with discipline & determination
to bring success to reality..

things are never to be said when it's not meant to be done..
unless I do the job well or I don't take it...
that's the policy...
things go through my hand is my best and I make sure..

"people might not think it's the best, at least it's the best you've given"

Note:
never take up something when you can't do...
however, confidence in doing something comes from God..
sometimes even when it seems impossible to me, it's always possible to the one within me..

God's faithfulness is more than I could imagine,
giving me the strength, endurance, grace...
to accomplish things with excellency.
to God be the glory.

turning back is not a choice

I've come too far to say no..

I've never made a first step if I'm not ready to face it...

I knew the consequence, I know what it is the road down there



sometimes I feel that is dark...

it's too scary..

I'm afraid that I will get lost

& I will start to loss my direction

& even losing my own identity..

not knowing who I am..



Just off recent..

God just spoken to me..

He sent people to pray with me and for me..

when i expected least...in my deepest distress...



The road is not easy

it's not going to be easy either..

He's going to help me to stand strong

stand firm in His word

in God's principle

to not compromise in my Christian life

by any ways and means


OH, tears just flow...

how can it be that....God,

is so good that He will lead me through all these?

I'm afraid I will fail

and cause a drop of tear in His eyes & make Him grief

well, God just strenghten me...


I made my stand clear that I will not compromise

Coming back to this road that I've taken

the road to the world of media.

it was once dark, vague & scarry to me...

now that

the prayer made..


I want to be a light that shine down the road..

praying that the light will not be dim & fade away..

by God's grace that I will be burning stronger & brighter light..

I didn't take a road or journey when I'm not ready..

ready in the sense of 'sacrifices'

that's a whole new topic going to be..


turning back is not an option,

ever since the first step is taken..

challenges along the journey might be anticipated,

the intensity is not for me to gauge


I have not come so far to walk away

No turning back.....


Note:
OH,how you wish the rocky road is smooth..
bearing in mind..the smooth silky road
is not going to help build a strong and tough character,
which shapes my mind & discipline my life

meanwhile,
the journey goes on still...

With all you have, you hope for the best

With all you have, you hope for the best

is not that all we want?


with that you live for,

life is not shattered and dreams in despair

sometimes it's not what I can't give,

it's what I have & the opportunity is not there for me to bring it out

With all that you have, you hope for the best


people of the same pace and beat in life is not to be found easily...

rather, they are met by coincidence along the way..

not many people get to appreciate the small little light

that shines in you-your talent.


With all you have, you hope for the best

is not that all we want?